Twilight

"Let me start off thusly. I am not a tweenage girl, I haven’t read the apparently fantastic series of books that provide the source material and the whole emo thing leaves me cold. In short, I expected to loathe this movie, but, in good news for all the boyfriends and dads that will get dragged along, it’s actually not too bad. Not great, unless you’re a tweenage emo girl who has read all the books, but not bad."

"A disappointingly anemic tale of forbidden love that should satiate the pre-converted but will bewilder and underwhelm viewers who haven't devoured Stephenie Meyer's bestselling juvie chick-lit franchise."

"So Twilight isn't a masterpiece -- no matter. It rekindles the warmth of great Hollywood romances, where foreplay was the climax and a kiss was never just a kiss."

"Twilight has a few gory plot turns - mostly offscreen - and one near-sex scene that may offend a few Amish people, but the rest is maybe 33 percent less wholesome than "High School Musical." It's almost certainly less risque than what you were watching when you were 14. (Cue the soundtrack to "Risky Business.")"

"Twilight will mesmerize its target audience, 16-year-old girls and their grandmothers. Their mothers know all too much about boys like this."

"The religious symbolism couldn't be more obvious (or disturbing). Keep your religion out of our vampires, Hollywood!"

"An underwhelming vampire romance long on camp but short on emotional insight"

"Q: When is a vampire not a vampire? A: When it goes out in daylight, sees itself in a mirror, doesn’t drink human blood, and still manages to suck."

"A sometimes girlie swirl of obsession that will delight fans, this faithful adaptation is after teenage blood, and will most likely hit a box office artery."