Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire

"A borderline incoherent shambles."

"Held together with spit and glitter glue and pipe-cleaners."

"That even after a reported 20 years in the making the film still feels fundamentally pointless isn’t just disappointing, it’s entirely bewildering."

"An ugly, unforgivably dull and self-serious mess."

"A ponderous slog."

"A feature-length video game cutscene."

"Looks more like an animated pitch for a movie than an actual movie with human characters, urgent drama, emotional stakes, and so forth."

"Gushing Star Wars fan fiction."

"Feels like a million isolated storyboards without a single thing welding them together."

"Nostalgia only takes this dreary space opera so far."

"More like a studio presentation deck than a piece of organic storytelling."

"A disjointed ride through an under-realised universe."

"It’s essentially the Snyder Cut of every science fiction and fantasy touchstone of the past 100 years."

"Never before, on planet cinema, has so much slow-mo been wasted on so many characters for whom we care so little."

"Like an R-rated Star Wars film drained of all its humanity."

"Just a ‘Star Wars’ ripoff."

"The relative grace of (its) action direction only underscores how disjointed and generic the rest of the film is."

"Star Wars on steroids, but with the life sucked out."

"Not everything in Rebel Moon makes sense."

"(Unspools) in dialogue of embarrassing banality."

"Simply registering the title of Zack Snyder’s Rebel Moon — Part One: A Child of Fire takes more time than the film deserves."

"Less a rebel yell than a low-key rebel grunt."