Jupiter Ascending

"If you think an intergalactic fairy tale sporting tons of prosthetics needs spicing up with a mix of royal family infighting and corporate takeover, then I refer you to Phantom Menace-era trade blockade enthusiast George Lucas, and now Jupiter Ascending. Pursuing their now-trademark singular vision that defies commercial or critical reaction, the Wachowskis have produced a head-scratching blend of action, cosmic grandiosity, over- and under-acting, and flat romance that’s never predictable in when it will stun the senses or bore you into submission."

"(A) long, dull and downright bizarre bore-a-thon..."

"The Wachowskis create a churning, swooping C.G.I. universe that’s decorated to the corners of the frame without taste or imagination."

"Jupiter Ascending is inane from first frame to last..."

"Pandering FX padding, unnurtured by humor or heart, is what shifts Jupiter Ascending from a shambles to a fiasco."

"Jupiter Ascending's early cleverness dries up quickly... leaving us with just another incoherent sci-fi spectacle."

"(The Wachowskis') dialogue couldn’t be more pedestrian, filled with thumping cliches delivered without a trace of irony."

"A movie so jaw-droppingly awful that you can't wait to see what happens next..."

"Like many fantasy features by the Wachowskis, this is a wonder to behold, full of minutely realized gadgetry, but a chore to follow, full of barely realized characters."

"Huge in scale and spectacle but thin on story."

"A cheap anti-authoritarian tantrum embedded in an intergalactic action-melodrama."

"With a blunt wit, misguided performances and a dull story, Jupiter ends up falling down."

"Despite being packed with incident, in-jokes, and vampire-aristocrat intrigue, it’s a breeze..."

"There is no shortage of head-scratchingly dumb moments in this bloated 3D space opera."

"So juvenile not even Eddie Redmayne can save it..."

"Jupiter Ascending feels watchable but second-hand, with a certain giggle-worthy flamboyance..."

"While the Wachowskis have always put their greatest emphasis on aesthetics, they allow the visual impulse to get the best of them here..."

"Both visually and in the action stakes, Jupiter Ascending could give pretty much any space movie a run for its money."

"You may fear for your sanity during Jupiter Ascending, but you’ll come out smiling."

"A big, woozy, spacey fairy tale with a science-fiction exoskeleton and a core of pure mush."

"It’s all very chaotic and entertaining, like a bizarre cult sci-fi TV show that somehow survived a threat of mid-season cancellation."

"Not as funny as Guardians, as awe-inspiring as Interstellar, as thrilling as Edge Of Tomorrow, or as provocative as Under The Skin."

"Anyone hoping for the old Matrix magic to rematerialize (it's been 15 years) is due for more disappointment."

"It’s frequently entertaining, but as much for its terrible moments as its inspired touches."