It’s been a while since Rose and Liam have had a chance to chat about films (she’s been overseas exploring the world; he’s been trying to finish the Sly Raccoon trilogy on his PS3). But they’re back and ready to talk, with the promise that it won’t be as hideously long as their Expendables 2 or Magic Mike discussions (though the Twilight talk they did with Dom is actually kinda good).
Two weeks in and Oz: the Great and Powerful continues its #1 Box Office reign in NZ and pretty much everywhere else in the universe. Liam and Rose had a spoiler-fuelled chat about it. These are the noises their mouths used.
ROSE: I would like to name this boy versus girl article, “Fuck You Sam Raimi and Your Dutch Tilts”. I came up with that on the way here, and it pretty much sums up my thoughts on this film.
LIAM: I’m pretty sure I gave that title to Spider-Man 3.
I loved the original Wizard of Oz. Ray Bolger as the Scarecrow was probably one of my earliest crushes because there was a lot of romantic tension between Dorothy and Bolger, that’s all I’m going to say.
I friggin’ loved the original, it was awesome. Well, let’s just say I didn’t like ‘Oz: The Great and Powerful’. Did you like it?
Yeah, I liked it. I wasn’t digging it at first but then really amped up. I loved that finale.
Yeah, that was good. First things first, though. James Franco. He is appalling. He’s horribly cast.
I’m going to disagree with you.
Really!?
Yeah really, but please state your case.
Okay. My case is that James Franco is terrible.
Okay. Well, here’s my case. Oz needed to be a slightly douchie character throughout the majority of the film, but also kind of likable, and that’s exactly what I see in James Franco – likable douchiness.
Yes, I feel that too, but I think James Franco is such a bad actor. There’s one moment in the film – it was early on – where he was in the balloon and he turns around and sees the tornado and honest to God, he turns around and goes,
I was like, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me”. His acting was terrible. I guess maybe he’s typecast but it’s just like watching James Franco from ‘Freaks and Geeks’ or James Franco from ‘Pineapple Express’ dressed up and being in this ‘Wizard of Oz’ movie.
What about the Franco grin? It’s very suggestive…
I know!
Like at the end, when they’re giving the gifts away and that little China Girl tells him, “What are you going to give her?”, this is Glenda the Good Witch, and she was like, “You better give her something good,” and then he drops the Franco grin.
And when they’re behind the curtain, she’s like “It’s pretty tight in here.” That’s when he gives that gummy-as toothy grin. And like, near the end, he’s like “Oh yeah, I’m going to have sex with a witch in this little booth now, while everyone watches…
…including China Girl.”
Well that was her gift, you see.
Mila Kunis, pretty bad.
She was miscast.
Completely miscast. It was a terrible back story for a really iconic character.
I could understand how that could have worked, they just didn’t do it right.
First of all, her face is not a witchy face. And when she had those prosthetics on she looked like Green Goblin. Her voice was also too high for a witch, and they put in a fake cackle.
That wasn’t her cackle, right?
It was not her cackle.
That was not a genuine cackle.
There was also that terrible moment when she let down her hair – classic Sam Raimi golden moment – where it makes no sense and it lingers way too long on that shot.
I think it was trying to emphasise how hot Mila Kunis is.
Yeah, but then it didn’t really come across, right?
I thought it came across.
Liam, you fell for it.
Guilty.
Zach Braff. Absolutely loved him. I was cracking up at everything the monkey said.
I can totally relate to that character because I’m pretty much the flying butler monkey of Flicks.
We need to get you a bellhop uniform.
I really loved the little China Girl as well.
China Girl was great, she was sassy. And a classic in-joke, that the China Girl’s town was called Chinatown.
Did you notice how Rachel Weisz clearly could not do high wire?
Really?
Yeah, during that end battle when she is supposed to be flying, she’s all like this.
Or when she’s looking for the China Girl in behind the tree, she’s like this.
That final battle looked more like they were on a helicopter propeller than high wire. What did you think about Michelle Williams?
I thought she was a beautiful angel sent from heaven above. She was spectacular. She had lovely eye makeup, that I will try and replicate one day when I’m going to some sort of party. And I don’t know how her face is so wrinkle-less.
They just used an iron.
That’s true, they just iron it out.
The film kind of uses little references from the original: the poppy fields, the Scarecrow soldiers, the Cowardly Lion.
I preferred the fact that they didn’t just go ‘wink wink’ with their referencing. They sort of paved explanations for how the Tin Man and the Scarecrow came to be, I thought that all felt pretty organic. And I’m REALLY glad that they didn’t do a shitty cover of Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
That would have been heinous. Also running time: do you think it was too long?
We don’t need children’s films going over two hours.
They didn’t have the material to make it that long. Like, you could have glued that girl’s legs back together a bit faster, that’s all I’m going to say.
That was a sweet moment, though.
It just went on for a bit too long. I was kind of like, “Yeah I get it, it’s a metaphor”.
They could have just cut Mila Kunis’ character out to make it shorter. And what’s with that apple that not only turns you evil but also reveals specific plot points?
I know, that was so funny how she bit it and then was like “You’re the evil one!” and Weisz was like, “Ha, ha, ha!”
And why is it always an apple? Why can’t it be like a muesli bar?
Why can’t it be a mango?
Or a rock melon.
Or a pomegranate.
Do you feel like this movie’s a bit of a cash-in?
No, I don’t think that at all. I admire it for trying to capture the spirit of the original. Especially since after seeing A Good Day to Die Hard, which had NONE of the spirit of the originals.
That’s because Bruce Willis is dead inside now. You look in his eyes and there is no light behind them.
Is that why he was in a Wes Anderson film last year?
Yes, exactly.
Because that’s where soulless actors go to die.
Exactly. Bob Balaban has been soulless for years.
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